Living A More Abundant, Fulfilling Life

By Robin Carlen

Are you living an abundant, fulfilling life? What exactly does that mean to you?

I think the answer to this question is different for each one of us. Over the years, particularly when I’ve been at a crossroads in my life or career, I’ve thought a lot about this in the effort to come up with my own definition. Is it money? Is it fame? Is it career success? Is it through a relationship with a significant other or family? Is it found by trying to live a life spent giving to a greater cause, as Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Rumi, and many other spiritual teachers, have done? Maybe it’s a combination of things. I believe that each of us has to find the answer to this question ourselves, and it may be very different for you than it is for me.

My passion for both reading and film goes back many years. Even as a very young girl I had my nose in a book and spent hours in my room reading about faraway places that I dreamed of seeing someday. Movies also allowed me to escape my early life in a small town and learn about different cultures and lifestyles.  Both have offered me a treasure trove of insightful information, comfort, guidance, and answers to oh so many questions. I’ve read a lot of books and seen many films (both Indie and big box office releases) over the years. Here are just a few of my favorites when it comes to this topic:

1. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” – by Sarah Ban Breathnach

This is the first book I read by Sarah Ban Breathnach, who is one of my favorite authors. In her books, Sarah goes into detail about the challenges she has experienced in her own life, her rise to fame as a best-selling author, and how she discovered what really makes her the happiest and most fulfilled in life. She describes simple abundance as: 1. An inner journey; 2. A spiritual and practical course in creative living; 3. A tapestry of contentment. This book is broken down by months and then days and is full of inspiring stories. She includes quotes from authors, many whom I’ve never heard of before. It is a treat to read, and I’ve gone back to it over the years when I needed a pick me up or just some plain old inspiration. I also loved her books “Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self” and “Moving On: Creating Your House of Belonging”. She is truly a gifted writer.

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2. “Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Abundance” – by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez (Updated 2018)

I was drawn to this book years ago because I was searching for ways to make a good living without having to sacrifice myself, my values, or my time (in excess) in the corporate world. This book goes into detail about how we often trade our time for dollars at a cost that many people realize is too much for them to bear, especially after situations occur that they can’t control, such as not getting the promotion they’d hoped for, being laid off, and more. The authors help you to really think about what it would take for you to live a happy and abundant life. It’s about achieving financial independence on your own terms and is full of great advice. I couldn’t put it down.

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3. “Think and Grow Rich” – by Napoleon Hill

With over 80 million copies sold, Napoleon Hill knows something about the laws of prosperity. In this very well-known, bestselling book, he covers what he describes as the 13 Steps to Riches. He shares the stories of numerous millionaires (including Andrew Carnegie, Henry Ford, and others) and the practices they used to become successful, coming up with ideas individually and then together collectively, in what I consider to be similar to early “mastermind” groups. It took me several attempts over the years to make a dent in this book, as there is a lot to digest, but it’s full of inspirational guidance that has helped many people. If you focus on the principles N.H. is trying to teach you, I believe it will only be to your benefit.

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4. “E Squared” – by Pam Grout

I decided I had to buy this book after reading the synopsis and customer reviews, which (overall) are very positive. The power of the mind, and of our thoughts, has always fascinated me, as I come from a long line of family members who have been reading spiritual-related books for years. This book may require that you take a leap of faith, and keep an open mind, as you’re reading it. I am reading it now and so far, the experiments I’ve done have had some interesting results, to say the least. The author believes that we live in an abundant universe, and I have to say that I agree. 100%. Things just seem to work better in my life, and business, when I remember that and am careful about what I focus on.

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5. “The Pursuit of Happyness” (Yes, That Is The Correct Spelling) 😊

Have you ever been in a place where money was tight and you were worried about your finances, causing you additional stress and some (or many) sleepless nights?  If you haven’t yet seen this film, rent or buy it asap. This true story about Chris Gardner will inspire you stop lamenting your situation and take some action. I won’t spoil it for you by going into too much detail, but the scene where he and his son spend the night in a bathroom was beyond moving. This man would not stop running after his goal (literally) and refused to give up, even when faced with very challenging obstacles. After watching it, I could come up with exactly zero reasons why any difficult situation I might have been going through during that time was as bad as I thought. It’s a “no more excuses” kind of movie.

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 6. “Joy”

This movie is based on the true story about Joy Mangano, the divorced Long Island mother who invented the self-ringing Miracle Mop. She did so in 1990 after becoming frustrated with what was then available in the market, and by the year 2000, her company was selling $10 million worth of Miracle Mops per year. It may sound like a real “miracle” to many of us, but Joy’s road to riches was far from easy and took a lot of sacrifice and perseverance. She had a very stressful life as a single mother trying to support her entire family, was having severe financial problems, and even had to deal with a business deal gone bad before finally making it. The biggest message I got from this movie was the power of never giving up, no matter how difficult things get. There will be a brighter tomorrow; we just have to hold on and try to stay positive.

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7. “Good Will Hunting”

This is a very moving, and inspiring, movie about overcoming difficulties and limited beliefs you may have about yourself and how easy it can be to feel trapped by your upbringing and those significant experiences you’ve had in life. If you have talent yet don’t believe it, your talent will be wasted. This movie comes with a very strong message that we are capable of much more than we think we are. It is also a big reminder for all of us not to stereotype, which can happen easily in our world so focused on rank and title. As the movie shows, a genius may be right in front of you in the form of the school janitor or any (fill in the title) you see every day. It’s so easy to judge and miss talent in raw, sometimes unrecognizable, form unless we open our minds to the possibility and give someone the opportunity. This is also a reminder to value what each of us has to offer and to be courageous enough to move on if the place we’re currently in isn’t right for us.

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 8. “The Neighbor’s Window” (A short film)

I cheered when this film was recently named Best Live Action Short at the 92nd Annual Academy Awards. If you have a chance to see it, I highly recommend you do. It is a story that so clearly shows why we should never look at another’s life with envy. We only see a part of someone else’s experience and there is so much behind the scenes that we will probably never know. This also made me realize just how much I have to be thankful for, even at times when I feel like I’ll never cross the finish line (whatever that really means) or am faced with what seems like an insurmountable problem. A word of warning: This movie has a sad (but very meaningful) ending and has some raw scenes, so you should show some discretion when it comes to where you watch it.

This post contains affiliate links. This means, if you decide to make a purchase, I may get a commission at no cost to you. I only recommend products I believe in and have firsthand experience with.

Old Ways Never Open New Doors

By: Robin Carlen

One of the biggest concerns of my clients over 40 is that they are “too old” and can’t complete with the younger people who are also looking for jobs. While I spend a lot of time coaching them about the tools and processes they need to be successful in their job search, equally as important is their willingness to look at their attitude about age to be sure they aren't sabotaging themselves.

If you are struggling with your age when it comes to your job search, or career change, these are some of the things you can do to change your “old ways” of thinking and acting to "new ways" that will improve your chances of landing your next job:

Old Way: Stop telling yourself: “I’m too old”, “There is just too much competition out there”, or “Employers don’t want to hire people my age.” I understand this can be hard to do. We can all fall into the negative thinking trap when it comes to issues we think are impacting us, and I'm no exception. Staying in that negative place doesn't help, though. Challenge yourself to change how you are looking at your situation.

New Way: Start telling yourself this instead: “I’m over 40…50…60, and I have a lot of experience to offer that is a benefit to employers. I will land another job, even though it might take some time.” The time it will take you to find your next opportunity has to a lot to do with the jobs you are targeting, how strong your experience and skills are, and the effort you are making. And if your attitude about your age is negative, that will also have a significant impact on your results.

Old Way: Stop believing the fallacy that, when a company hires another candidate, it’s because you are lacking in some serious way. A biotech scientist I worked with was one of two people being considered for a job she really wanted. When the company hired the other person, she told me “I know it’s because I’m over 40. I’m just going to stop looking”. She was in tears as she said this and on the verge of giving up, but I convinced her to continue. About a month later, she was hired into another scientist role at a great company.

New Way: The reasons certain candidates are hired can be complex, and usually age has very little to do with it. Instead, they are usually hired because of their experience, skills, and fit. There are steps you can take to stand out against the competition, but the fact is, there is still competition, and sometimes you will “lose”. If you let the challenging times get you down, and give up too soon, you will never find out what other opportunities will be coming your way.

Old Way: "I’m competing against a lot of people who are not only younger than me, but also have more current skills and experience. Why should I even try?” Yes, it is true that, as we get older, the people we are competing against will be noticeably younger, and often they will have critical skills that we don’t. But sometimes they may not be the best candidate for the job, and you may be a better fit. More on that below.

New Way: You have skills that those who are significantly younger than you don’t, and you also have a depth of experience and knowledge based on things that have happened to you on the job---and in life--over the years. This is invaluable to companies who need what you have offer. When you are going through a job search, it’s very easy to forget this. Instead of focusing on what you don’t have to offer, focus, instead, on what you do have to offer. Make a list of your strengths and accomplishments to share with prospective employers. Also look for companies that value people with experience and knowledge that can benefit the company and its customers.

Old Way: On occasion I come across a client who “cops an attitude” about how they are going to approach employers and the job search. They’ve never used LinkedIn, and they tell me they don’t want to open an account for whatever reason. Or, they refuse to consider that resume format, job search strategies, interviewing protocol and other components of the job search have changed significantly since they were last looking for a job. In essence, they are not open to new ways of doing things. And this can be a big impediment to finding another job.

New Way: It's true that recruiters and hiring managers will sometimes be concerned that candidates over a certain age may be too rigid, “stuck in their ways”, or lacking in certain key skills. Consider what you can do to be sure you're not perceived in this way and be willing to do the work involved. You can do this by ensuring you're up to date with your job search tools, processes, and skills by taking a class if you need to.

Contact me at robin@robincarlen.com or (650) 773-5630 for more information about career coaching services, training and events. To subscribe to our newsletter, visit the website at: https://www.robincarlen.com

(Originally posted on March 20, 2016)