Job Change

Living A More Abundant, Fulfilling Life

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By Robin Carlen

Are you living an abundant, fulfilling life? What exactly does that mean to you?

I think the answer to this question is different for each one of us. Over the years, particularly when I’ve been at a crossroads in my life or career, I’ve thought a lot about this in the effort to come up with my own definition. Is it money? Is it fame? Is it career success? Is it through a relationship with a significant other or family? Is it found by trying to live a life spent giving to a greater cause, as Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Rumi, and many other spiritual teachers, have done? Maybe it’s a combination of things. I believe that each of us has to find the answer to this question ourselves, and it may be very different for you than it is for me.

My passion for both reading and film goes back many years. Even as a very young girl I had my nose in a book and spent hours in my room reading about faraway places that I dreamed of seeing someday. Movies also allowed me to escape my early life in a small town and learn about different cultures and lifestyles.  Both have offered me a treasure trove of insightful information, comfort, guidance, and answers to oh so many questions. I’ve read a lot of books and seen many films (both Indie and big box office releases) over the years. Here are just a few of my favorites when it comes to this topic:

1. “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” – by Sarah Ban Breathnach

This is the first book I read by Sarah Ban Breathnach, who is one of my favorite authors. In her books, Sarah goes into detail about the challenges she has experienced in her own life, her rise to fame as a best-selling author, and how she discovered what really makes her the happiest and most fulfilled in life. She describes simple abundance as: 1. An inner journey; 2. A spiritual and practical course in creative living; 3. A tapestry of contentment. This book is broken down by months and then days and is full of inspiring stories. She includes quotes from authors, many whom I’ve never heard of before. It is a treat to read, and I’ve gone back to it over the years when I needed a pick me up or just some plain old inspiration. I also loved her books “Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self” and “Moving On: Creating Your House of Belonging”. She is truly a gifted writer.

2. “Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Abundance” – by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez (Updated 2018)

I was drawn to this book years ago because I was searching for ways to make a good living without having to sacrifice myself, my values, or my time (in excess) in the corporate world. This book goes into detail about how we often trade our time for dollars at a cost that many people realize is too much for them to bear, especially after situations occur that they can’t control, such as not getting the promotion they’d hoped for, being laid off, and more. The authors help you to really think about what it would take for you to live a happy and abundant life. It’s about achieving financial independence on your own terms and is full of great advice. I couldn’t put it down.

3. “Think and Grow Rich” – by Napoleon Hill

With over 80 million copies sold, Napoleon Hill knows something about the laws of prosperity. In this very well-known, bestselling book, he covers what he describes as the 13 Steps to Riches. He shares the stories of numerous millionaires (including Andrew Carnegie, Henry Ford, and others) and the practices they used to become successful, coming up with ideas individually and then together collectively, in what I consider to be similar to early “mastermind” groups. It took me several attempts over the years to make a dent in this book, as there is a lot to digest, but it’s full of inspirational guidance that has helped many people. If you focus on the principles N.H. is trying to teach you, I believe it will only be to your benefit.

4. “E Squared” – by Pam Grout

I decided I had to buy this book after reading the synopsis and customer reviews, which (overall) are very positive. The power of the mind, and of our thoughts, has always fascinated me, as I come from a long line of family members who have been reading spiritual-related books for years. This book may require that you take a leap of faith, and keep an open mind, as you’re reading it. I am reading it now and so far, the experiments I’ve done have had some interesting results, to say the least. The author believes that we live in an abundant universe, and I have to say that I agree. 100%. Things just seem to work better in my life, and business, when I remember that and am careful about what I focus on.

5. “The Pursuit of Happyness” (Yes, That Is The Correct Spelling) 😊

Have you ever been in a place where money was tight and you were worried about your finances, causing you additional stress and some (or many) sleepless nights?  If you haven’t yet seen this film, rent or buy it asap. This true story about Chris Gardner will inspire you stop lamenting your situation and take some action. I won’t spoil it for you by going into too much detail, but the scene where he and his son spend the night in a bathroom was beyond moving. This man would not stop running after his goal (literally) and refused to give up, even when faced with very challenging obstacles. After watching it, I could come up with exactly zero reasons why any difficult situation I might have been going through during that time was as bad as I thought. It’s a “no more excuses” kind of movie.

 6. “Joy”

This movie is based on the true story about Joy Mangano, the divorced Long Island mother who invented the self-ringing Miracle Mop. She did so in 1990 after becoming frustrated with what was then available in the market, and by the year 2000, her company was selling $10 million worth of Miracle Mops per year. It may sound like a real “miracle” to many of us, but Joy’s road to riches was far from easy and took a lot of sacrifice and perseverance. She had a very stressful life as a single mother trying to support her entire family, was having severe financial problems, and even had to deal with a business deal gone bad before finally making it. The biggest message I got from this movie was the power of never giving up, no matter how difficult things get. There will be a brighter tomorrow; we just have to hold on and try to stay positive.

7. “Good Will Hunting”

This is a very moving, and inspiring, movie about overcoming difficulties and limited beliefs you may have about yourself and how easy it can be to feel trapped by your upbringing and those significant experiences you’ve had in life. If you have talent yet don’t believe it, your talent will be wasted. This movie comes with a very strong message that we are capable of much more than we think we are. It is also a big reminder for all of us not to stereotype, which can happen easily in our world so focused on rank and title. As the movie shows, a genius may be right in front of you in the form of the school janitor or any (fill in the title) you see every day. It’s so easy to judge and miss talent in raw, sometimes unrecognizable, form unless we open our minds to the possibility and give someone the opportunity. This is also a reminder to value what each of us has to offer and to be courageous enough to move on if the place we’re currently in isn’t right for us.

 8. “The Neighbor’s Window” (A short film)

I cheered when this film was recently named Best Live Action Short at the 92nd Annual Academy Awards. If you have a chance to see it, I highly recommend you do. It is a story that so clearly shows why we should never look at another’s life with envy. We only see a part of someone else’s experience and there is so much behind the scenes that we will probably never know. This also made me realize just how much I have to be thankful for, even at times when I feel like I’ll never cross the finish line (whatever that really means) or am faced with what seems like an insurmountable problem. A word of warning: This movie has a sad (but very meaningful) ending and has some raw scenes, so you should show some discretion when it comes to where you watch it.

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Why Losing Your Job Could End Up Being One Of The Best Things That's Ever Happened To You

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By: Robin Carlen

Losing a job can have a way of making you feel like you’re no longer needed, or even worse, no longer important. Just because the company you worked for has a re-org, is bought by another company, or decides they no longer require your services, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with YOU. Please read this again, because it’s very true. Based on my experience with many job seekers, I believe that you will land again and (hopefully) will end up in a better situation.

Like most people, I myself have gone through a career transition. I think it was particularly painful because there was a lot going on behind the scenes that other people I worked with knew nothing about. It was my secret for several months that I could no longer be a part of managements’ philosophy or ‘support’ how employees were being treated, so I announced that I would be leaving to pursue other opportunities, which of course was just the tip of the iceberg. That was a difficult time in my life, but looking back, it was one of the best things (career wise) that has ever happened to me.

These are some things I learned that I hope may be helpful to you or anyone you know who finds themselves going through a career transition:  

1. This time in your life is only temporary, although right now it seems like it will go on forever. Take steps to keep your spirits up and surround yourself with supportive, positive, people. 

Action: Reach out for support from your family, friends and trusted colleagues. One of the worst things about being out of a job is the isolation that can accompany it. Visit a family member or friend you haven’t seen in awhile. Go out for a walk, meet a friend for lunch in a nearby park, and set a date to see a movie. Send an email or call your colleagues to ask how they are doing and if you can meet for a cup of coffee. Volunteer to help others and possibly even make a work connection at the same time. Participate in one (just one) networking event if the thought of networking intimidates you. It's very important to get out of the house and not be stuck at home, which can foster inactivity and depression.

2. You are valuable no matter whether you have a job or not, whether you have the title and money you want or not, or whether other people think you are valuable or not.  

Action: Sometimes things just don’t work out, and there is a lot you can’t control. I learned a long time ago that it's dangerous to attach your feelings of self worth to any job you have or company you work for, because nothing is permanent. To remind yourself of all you’ve accomplished, write a list of all the things you did at company “X” (and prior) that made a contribution to the company. Did you achieve goals that saved money, reduced expenses, and/or improved team performance? Write these down and be prepared to use them to help you land your next job. Remind yourself that you were (and are still) a valuable employee AND person. 

3. Keep your mind on the positive by monitoring the negativity you're exposed to.

Action: I know this will sound biased, but bear with me because I think it’s relevant. The amount of negativity we're being exposed to on a daily basis, particularly in the media, has increased tremendously. I have no business telling people what they can and cannot watch, but I hope you will at least consider how you feel after you’ve seen negative news and other programs. Do they make you feel better? Do you feel more motivated? Are you happier? Or less so? Consider reading your news online and avoiding those things that are upsetting. Also stay away from the naysayers who tell you negative things about your job search or 'what they've heard' about the job market. You need people to be positive and supportive of you, especially right now.

4. You never know where this transition may lead you. It led me to work I love that is more closely aligned with my skills, experience and values, and it can do the same for you. 

Action: Think about the skills and responsibilities you most enjoy using. Decide what your non-negotiable values are that can't be left at the front door (i.e., be ignored) in order for you to be successful at your next company. How can you leverage and use them more often in your next job? Consider the alternatives of starting your own business or consulting. There are many options available today, and they don't always involve being a full-time W2 employee.

Contact me at robin@robincarlen.com or (650) 773-5630 for more information about career coaching services, training and events. To subscribe to our newsletter, visit the website at: https://www.robincarlen.com

(Originally posted on December 11, 2015)